Mirror Mirror

Around noon yesterday, I left my house and drove to a hotel. I wasn't angry. In fact, I was a bit giddy. Lobster had used some of his hotel points and booked me a suite so I could have some alone time.

A few years back, Lobster was travelling 2 weeks out of every month. He was racking up some serious points, and would use them to send me away for the weekend just about once a quarter. He's not travelling as much lately and so my weekend "Amy time" has also happened less frequently. It's totally worth having him home, though. 

Lobster has a few trips coming up in the next month or two. I love that he thinks of me and recognizes that a little time away helps me to be a better wife and mama.

The boys used to get upset when I would leave. They didn't like their routine to be up-ended. But now that they are a little older, they get that it's not such a bad thing. When Mom starts getting that wild look in her eyes, and her voice gets a little too loud a little too often, they'll probably start suggesting it.  And bonus  -  Dad lets them have a lot more XBox time than I.

Anyway, this suite had full-length mirrors on the closet doors. There was a large mirror behind the vanity. If I went anywhere near the bathroom, I could not escape myself in these mirrors.

At home, the only mirrors we have are above our sinks and they only let us see from the shoulders up. We have a couple of large mirrors in the garage that we've been meaning to have cut down to use in our bedroom, but haven't as of yet.

I've decided that mirrors are scary. It's like driving past a train wreck or a car accident. You know you don't want to see the carnage, but somehow, you can't look away.

I've also decided that I must get a full-length mirror in my house somewhere.

I think a full-length mirror is one of the best motivators for losing weight. I don't know about others out there, but I have deluded myself for a long time. I know the number on the scale. I know how big my clothes are. But I don't look at myself. In my mind, I am not as big as reality showed me last night and again this morning.

Reality is not pretty. I cringe especially when I think about those that see me in my swim suit at the YMCA. But, at least I'm there. I'm working on it. 

Get a full-length mirror. 

Stand in front of it, naked. 

Jump. Yes, really.

Examine how you feel about what you just witnessed. Cry if you need to. Then get busy.

SUNDAY STATS

Weight loss/gain: unknown - was not near my scale this morning.

Last week's exercise: 2 days water fitness (50 minutes ea.)

                                      2 days Silver & Fit (45 minutes ea.)

Tracking food: 0 of 7 days  Womp womp... 

Food plan: Healthfulness - thumbs up! (lots of veggies & lean protein - but also, leftover pizza & cake)

                    Portion sizes - thumbs down! (portions too big, second helpings)

                                          

GOOD REMINDER

I got a message from a friend several weeks ago. I had been complaining (yes, again) about having to plan my life and how the measuring and tracking of food was a downer...blah, blah blah. You know, Boy 1 has been saying "blah, blah" a lot, lately. I wonder where he gets it? But I wander - where was I? 

My long-time friend sent me a message and it really hit home. I tend to get so caught up in my own tiny little world that I forget that I'm not the only one with food issues, I'm not the only one that has to limit my intake and take control of my health. She wrote,

"I keep thinking to remind you that thinnish people struggle with weight, portion control, calorie count, and motivation. I think it's actually very few people who really don't think much about it. It's so much a part of my life, that I'm really not even aware unless I stop and think about it, how much thought and energy goes into thinking about what I eat. Somewhat subconsciously, I think about what activity I will have during the day and equate that to how much I can eat. If I know we are going to eat out, or having the kids around for favorite foods, then I pretty much eat veggies during the day to compensate. I've learned that even though I sweat and get breathless during a workout, I only burn about 200 calories, so I mentally adjust for that too. Then you factor in again and hormones, and it becomes a daily life activity without really being that aware of it. The short of it...don't feel sad that you have to count and measure and plan and adjust...just think of it as part of life and anything else like planning a budget, laundry, yard work, etc...

It is a bit of a battle every day. How weird would it be if battles with pride, envy, bitterness, gossip, spite, etc. showed up on people in a physical form? Weight is such a small part of who we are...I think it's important to remember that we strive for health, but being a kind and loving person is so much more important."

Now, this friend of mine is amazing. She is gorgeous in every possible way. If I didn't love her so much, I'd be more than just a bit jealous (I wonder what that would look like on the outside). I love the way she thinks and I ask her advice, or often ask myself what I think she would do. The thought of our inner struggles manifesting in physical form, as our weight does, really made me think.  People can take one look at me and see that I eat too much and don't get enough exercise. They can't see why, and unless they see me exercising, they can't see that I've changed my behavior. 

It's so easy - because we can't see the ooey, gooey centers - to focus on the outer shell; not only with others, but with ourselves. While we work on getting healthy, are we tending only to our bodies? Something to think about, friends.

A little after I received this message from my friend, I saw a post on a blog called Single Dad Laughing. It discussed what type of fruit people's different personalities would be. I thought how well it would work with what I'm writing about and I'm a bit ticked off that he thought of it first. (Click HERE to see the post - it's good.)

I had a good loss this past week - a little over 3 pounds. My total weight loss since January is now 27 pounds. I started tracking my weight on My Fitness Pal in June, so 9 pounds in the first 6 months and 18 in the next five. This sounds random, but 27 pounds is more than a bag of dog food (I like to image the weight as something familiar). I've got a LONG way to go, but I'm feeling good and on the right track.

Have a great week!