Smile on My Face

Hallelujah!

I have rocked myself a bit out of this rut in which I've been stuck! I'm afraid to celebrate too much because it's so easy to fall back in those cursed grooves. I love seeing the scale lower than has been in a long time.

I can partly attribute my 3 pound weight loss this week to a tight budget. There was no eating out, no extra treats. I'm going to have to keep it this tight from now on. ;)  I focused on my water intake and I added in some exercise. 

I had planned on going to a low-impact aerobics class at the Y, but I chickened out. I found that my cable provider has exercise "classes" on demand for no extra cost. I've been doing a walking workout in my living room. I tried a Sweat Sexy workout, but somehow, my moves did not look like the women on the screen, and they were definitely not sexy. It was, however, sweaty. So, I'm halfway there.

Our Primary children did a presentation in front of the congregation at church today. The kids all did such a wonderful job. Each child spoke about something they've learned this year and sang songs. I was so proud. I was especially proud of Boy 1, who has never before been able to say his part in front of the crowd. While he hid behind the podium, he said his lines clearly. It was kind of funny to see people in the congregation look around to see who was speaking. I was so happy and proud! I had tears rolling down my face and I almost forgot I was supposed to lead the next song. This was a big step for my anxious boy. Boy 2 did a great job, as well. They earned a trip to a local pizza place that also has video games and such. Proud Mama day.

I'm keeping it short and sweet. I'm a tired puppy.

Make it a great week!

COMPARE OR NOT COMPARE? That Is The Question

I've been feeling good about the number of books I've read this year. I have a goal of 40 books and I've read 29. I'm ahead of schedule and it looks like I'll be able to meet my goal. Some of the novels on this year's list are now favorites. I love reading!

One day last week, I looked on Goodreads.com and saw that a friend of mine had met her goal of reading 80 books in 2013. By September, she had read 80 books. 

80 BOOKS!

All of a sudden, my 29 books was a pittance. I mean, my friend has 3 young boys, her own business, has lost a significant amount of weight (she looks FANTASTIC!) and volunteers at school and church and does things with her family and friends. AND SHE READ 80 BOOKS!

My feeling of accomplishment disappeared, and it was replaced with discouragement. I started to question how she was able to meet her goal. That is exactly 1.54 books each week. How is that even possible when you have an already busy life? 

When I realized that I was tearing her down to make myself feel better, I was ashamed. I was already envious of her in her weight-loss efforts. But, she worked hard for it. She has logged into My Fitness Pal every day - for over 200 days in a row. She exercises several times per week. She works hard. And she is an amazing, strong, driven woman. She accomplishes a lot. No wonder she met her goal of reading 80 books. She is a person that accomplishes goals. She makes things happen.

Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why get out that measuring stick at all? I was happy with the number of books I had read. I was proud of it.

You know, sometimes comparing ourselves to others is not such a bad thing. We can see something in a friend's experience - something that worked for them, or made things easier and use that information in our own lives. We can see that someone accomplished something and be inspired to do better.

But often in our measuring, we come up short. And it stops us cold.

My boys are comparing all the time. One has more milk than the other. How many crackers did you get? How many kisses? How much time with Daddy? How many songs before bedtime? Over and over I tell them, "That doesn't matter. Right now, we're talking about you, not him. You don't need to worry about that." 

Why can't I take my own advice? I don't need to worry about that.

It's destructive, this comparison thing; this measuring our weakness against another's strength. This life is not a competition with those around us. There is always going to be someone prettier, smarter, skinnier, richer, stronger, happier, luckier, better read than we. It doesn't make us any less amazing. It doesn't diminish what we do.

So, help a girl out. Share with me how you keep your head up. Tell me how you stay positive. Divulge your secret to avoiding the measuring stick. Give a friend a hand.

Excuse Me, I Didn't Get The Manual

Wouldn't it be nice if kids came with an instruction book? 

"Here's your bundle of joy, Mama. Oh, don't forget his manual! You'd sure be up a creek if you forgot that!" 

Now, I know all the basics. I don't worry about any of those. I can:

• Feed them good food - lots of fruits and veggies and a few cookies now and then.
• Keep their bits clean - and don't forget behind the ears. 
• Teach them to be polite, over and over and over and over and over....and hope it sticks. Someday.
• Make them go outside and run around and use their imaginations. Keep an eye on them, though, so they don't whack your poor plants to pieces with their "swords" or use your tomatoes as bullets or as an art project worthy of Jackson Pollock on the fence.
• Give them lots of hugs and kisses until they literally can not stand any more.
• Be their mom, not their friend.
• Et cetera, Et cetera...

What I'm having trouble with, is the "when?" questions -and a bit of the "how much?", as well. As in, when do I  let them ride their bikes in the neighborhood with no supervision? And when do we talk about the birds and bees? And how much information is too much? And how much and when do they need to know about the circumstances of their births?

As their mother, I'm supposed to know when they are ready for things. I am aware that comparing myself to other moms and my boys to other children is not a good idea. However, the boys start comparing immediately. And over and over, I keep finding out how much I really don't know.

Our neighbor has a son one year younger than Boy 1. He rides his bike to school, to his friends' houses - all over - with, seemingly, no limits. Boys 1 & 2 would like to do the same. The back yard is no longer enough. I grew up wandering my neighborhood. I want my boys to know that I believe they can handle themselves in all situations. But...But...But...

Boy 1 is extremely impulsive. He could be riding along, see a cat running across the road, drop his bike in the middle of the street and chase the cat into the yard of someone we don't know. He recently called some teenage boys that were walking down the street (who were minding their own business) a name while he was out riding his bike under my supervision. He's lucky they either didn't hear him, or were good at ignoring annoying kids (they also ignored his apology). He might not be so lucky next time and get hit or learn some really unacceptable words. 

Do I protect them from these possibilities, or do I let them learn the hard way?

Part of me wants to let the natural consequences do their work. But, Boy 1 has special needs that must be taken into consideration. 

And Boy 2? He's six. How much freedom/independence does a 6-year-old get? Not much around here.

Those manuals would sure come in handy, you know? 

I have said it over and over again, this parenting thing is not for sissies.

I love the idea of Free Range Parenting in theory. My anxiety and, I admit it, pride holds me back. I, of course, worry for their safety. But I am also concerned with what they may do or say to people and if it will cause me embarrassment. 

Taking on the job of parent opens us up to all kinds of fun opportunities and embarrassment is one of those. I guess I should just get used to it.

Here we go back to the ABC's of Me. Almost done!

I'M STUCK: again. The exercise starts up once more. If I don't want to cut calories, the exercise has to make a come back. I know it. The first steps off the couch are the hardest. The boys being in school means I have no excuses left. I know I'm tired of writing about being stuck. And, I'm sure you are weary of reading it.

I'M THRILLED: with how the first week of school went. The boys love their teachers (and so do we) and there have been no complaints. I am LOVING my days - so much so, that, I'm feeling the slightest bit of guilt. This is going to be a great school year.

I USE: an 8-ounce cup to drink my water now. I find it easier to finish when I can down it quickly. I was using these huge cups and just seemed to take forever to empty them. Every time I come into the kitchen, I drink 1-2 glasses full and I get my daily recommended with no problem!

MY VITAMIN: D is severely deficient according to my blood work taken at my recent yearly physical. I've been prescribed 50,000 UI of Vitamin D that I take weekly. Once I'm done with this after several weeks, I'm supposed to take a daily supplement with my multi-vitamin. My doctor said that it's especially common here in the northwest for deficiencies. She said I would feel better, but I haven't noticed any change yet. 

I WANT: to finish building our raised vegetable beds. I've still only got one - and that is full of tomatoes that are finally ripening. I have room for 2 more in our space. Lobster started the 2nd bed around Mother's Day, but got frustrated with my design and quit. I have since dug out the other sides to make it level, but the boys have "helped" in the digging. That's what we get for leaving the project unfinished, I guess. It is, seriously, the story of our lives. So many unfinished projects.

I AM XCEPTIONALLY: pleased with my window boxes. They could use some more red Geraniums, but I love the way they look.

Next year, I will use white Sweet Allyssum instead of the Lobelia. Although when the weather is too cold for most of the annuals in the box, I'm going to replant the Lobelia into my flower beds.

I am Xceptionally happy with the Sweet Potato Vine. It looks so lush and although I had originally wanted the chartreuse variety, this purple looks great! Maybe next Spring, I'll do some of both - that would be a nice contrast with the red Geraniums.

I YELL: much less lately. Having our home be a "No Yell" zone is something I have been working toward and I admit it's a struggle. It really becomes a habit - and a hard one to break. Once I've got it, hopefully, the boys will follow suit. My "tone" is next on the list.

I ZONE: out if I sit down for too long in the late afternoons. There are some days I can't stay still too long, or I literally cannot keep my eyes open. I really didn't think I would turn into an old lady quite so soon.  Luckily, now, the boys are getting home from school at that time, so I keep pretty busy.

Whew! I'm so glad those ABC's are done. It took me much longer than I had planned and some of the letters were downright tricky.

Have a great week, all!