Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Circle The Wagons!

It's been quite a wild few weeks. In addition to our usual madhouse, Boy 2 has been giving us a run for our money - both with behavior at school and here at home. Really, it should give me plenty to write about. I, however, have felt the complete opposite. I kind of just want to hole up, form the wagon circle, and hide.

Pioneers Crossing The Plains of Nebraska by CCA Christensen
Doing that for a little while is all right. I'm the type that likes to wallow in it for a bit and see if it passes. But, really, there's only so much of that you can do, especially when you're a mom. We need help. And I'm the one that needs to find it.

I remember - back when I had no children - when I had all the answers. It takes a firm hand and a loving spirit and the kids will fall into line. Kids behave the way they do because the parents aren't consistent enough. Oh, I was so smart then. I really miss those days.

Of course we have to be consistent. Let the consequences be the teacher. Of course we have to love them. We are the adults and we have to act like it.

But kids are different. What will work for one, will not even faze another. Kids' brains are wired so differently. And in our case, there are "brain issues" as well. I'm just going to say "brain issues" because there are some of our boys' stories that aren't for me to put out there for display on the Internet. 

So I went searching for help. I found help for myself rather easily. When we were going through our educational classes for foster care and adoption, there was a woman teaching one of the classes who is a Licensed Professional Counselor and I thought to myself, "I would totally call her if I needed help." 

It took a couple of weeks to work up the courage to call, but I did. And I'm so glad. She has so much experience with adoption and parenting kids with special needs and just parenting in general and the need to put on your own oxygen mask first, as hard as that can be.

Finding help for my little peanut has been a bit harder. The names I had selected at a clinic that takes our insurance didn't have any openings. I had been doing some other research to find a counselor that would accept our insurance and that would have experience with "brain issues" and adoption. 

The school and, specifically, Boy 2's teacher has been so good to work with. She has some personal experience (also not my story to tell) that helps her to understand our position and that means so much. I feel incredibly grateful for both of our boys' placements in school this year. How a teacher responds makes such a difference.

Yesterday, I heard from the clinic and we have an appointment - with one of the top names on my list! It's not for 3 weeks, but we have a date. I know things take time, but I'm feeling like I can see the light. And hopefully, it's not the train. ;)

We already know that I don't handle stress well. Wallowing and a tendency for comfort eating are not a good combination. I was feeling pretty good because I had been able to at least maintain my most recent weight loss - until this week. I'm sure hoping it is some water retention, because almost 8 pounds is a lot to gain in one week. I didn't log it into My Fitness Pal yet. I'm just trying to drink a lot of water to flush out my system and see how it goes. I haven't been logging in a lot of things on My Fitness Pal, lately. I need to find a way to keep track that doesn't take up so much time. 

Exercising would help manage my stress. So that comes back in this week. And Lobster is home from another trip. It's really nice to be all together again. We love having that man home. I'm pretty sure he's just got one more this year. 

This past week was pretty busy. While Lobster was away, I spent a day with Boy 2 at school, babysat, 2 boys' soccer practices, appointments, volunteered at the school and did a Halloween Food demonstration at a church event. Would you like to see my table? I sure had fun doing this!

I made stewed monster toes, apples with ogre snot (sorry mom!), eyeballs on a stick, Dracula's dentures, pickled brain, cheese witch fingers, french fried spider legs, and bloody band-aids. It was fun and the boys really enjoyed the left-overs. And I have to admit, that so did I.

I'm feeling good and hopeful. I love my little family and we're having a bit of a rough time right now. But we're getting the help we need. I heard somewhere that one sign of maturity is knowing when and how to ask for help. Maybe I'm finally feeling like a grown up. I can't solve everything with a hug, a kiss, and a pat on the behind. I can't even solve it all myself. And that's OK. 

It's OK.

I think I can let the wagon train loosen its circle. I'm ready to get back on the trail.


  1. Yay for you guys! I've been taking some classes that I really have been loving. Maybe I can convince you to come try one with me!

  2. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is such a relief when life gets a bit difficult
    Hang in there you are a great mom Your Halloween table looked so fun Congrats
    Keep smiling love you Maxine