Sunday, February 26, 2012


Apparently, the desire to exercise does not come with the purchase of athletic shoes. Wouldn’t that be great? Though, I should re-state that. I “want” to exercise, but not enough to fit it in when my days get busy. I did walk on Monday – in the wind and rain, no less. But the remainder of my week was crazy busy and I didn’t think it through enough. I need to make a schedule.  Although cold, it felt good to be outside. Boys 1 and 2 ran ahead splashing in every puddle they could and chasing any poor bird that dared look for worms on the grass in the center of the track at the local middle school. I didn’t push myself too hard but I tried to keep a steady pace. When my nose was numb, I called the boys and we headed back to the car. I think this week I’ll keep it simple and just walk on my own street.

My sister has been going to the gym for over a year now. She works out most week-days and has a schedule for her day. She, and anyone that knows her well, knows when she’ll be at the gym and she doesn’t let just anything creep into that time. If someone asks her to do something, she just says, “Sorry, that’s when I go to the gym.” That’s what I need. I keep thinking, “When boy 2 enters kindergarten in the fall, I’ll have every morning (or afternoon) free to schedule as I need.”  But September? I can’t wait that long. That’s how I got into this mess – putting the good things off for too long. I would like to make my exercising about me and having the boy(s) with me makes that harder, but not impossible. I could wait for Lobster to be home, but knowing myself the way I do, waiting until the end of the day to walk is not a good idea. I’m tired and sore by dinnertime and walking will be the last thing I will want to do. Working around drop-off times for school, pre-school, volunteering, and church meetings will be tricky, but not impossible.

In one of my boys’ books, called “I Want to Be Somebody New!” by Robert Lopshire, is a story about Spot. Spot is done doing the same old thing he’s done before and changes into other animals to try them out. First, Spot changes into an elephant and asks his friends what they think. This part always makes me laugh, but at the same time cringe because I resemble their remark. They say:

“But being that big cannot be fun. Say! You must weigh at least a ton! You cannot walk up on this fence…or squeeze between these circus tents. The door of your house is now too small. You can’t get through that door at all! You can’t go here. You can’t go there. You can’t go much of anywhere! You cannot sit in your old chair. Your new rear end won’t fit in there.”

Spot eventually learns that being himself is the best of all and everyone is happy. It makes me wish I could just snap my fingers, 1 – 2 – 3 and change into something new.  But unless you are or have been big, you just don’t understand how hard some of the simple things are. Things like sitting in some chairs. My (not so) new rear end won’t fit some chairs. Showers are never a quick process. And putting on socks and shoes can be difficult. It’s embarrassing to admit that it’s hard to put on your own shoes, but the point I’m trying to make (and taking a long time getting to) is that the process of getting ready is inconvenient enough to make me not want to do it. Having well-fitting shoes helps a lot, believe me. And before I get offers to help me put on my shoes – I can do it. It sometimes just takes a while.  

If I’m ever going to make this big rear end get any smaller, I’ve got to put my shoes on my fat feet and get moving – which brings me back to my original point. I need a routine. I’ve got to know that at such and such o’clock, I will be walking and so nothing else can be scheduled then. Slipping it into my day is not working. It’s too easy to slip it right out again. A routine is not boring. It is a safety net. Just like I created the habits that got my health into this mess, I can create the habits that will make things better. 

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