Monday, November 19, 2012

Light Bulb!

I was at the grocery store early last week. It's not my favorite place to be. It's especially not a wise place to be after the afternoon and evening my boys had given me. Being a mom is not for sissies. The boys have really been testing every drop of patience I have - which I'm finding isn't much. We're going through a rough patch lately and I'm feeling a lot of stress. But we needed a few things before breakfast the next day and, for Heaven's sake, I can WALK AROUND AND GET MILK AND EGGS BY MYSELF, RIGHT?

Apparently not.

I haven't bought potato chips in a long time. It's not a safe food to have in my house. I have been very careful about not having them in the house and I specifically avoid the potato chip isle at most stores. 

At the store I went to, however, you must walk right by the potato chip isle to get to the milk AND the eggs. I know it's on purpose. I know they know what they're doing (They being those marketing experts who know where to place everything in the store). You know, they.

This grocery store also sells slices of cake in their bakery. Very large slices of cake. Genius, it is -  cake by the slice. I have very rarely bought an entire cake, but I have been known to buy a slice here and there. The bakery is, of course, right by the produce section as you walk into the store. There were these huge slices of chocolate cake with luscious mint frosting that seemed to be glowing and pulsing with big arrows in a circle all around them saying, "pick me! pick me!"  

What? You mean the food at the grocery store doesn't talk to you? Hm. Interesting.

I walked on by. These flip flops are made for walkin', baby.

But then, I saw them. The potato chips. Oh, the chips. Have I told you how much I love potato chips? They didn't just talk to me. They wooed me. They turned on their Barry White, deep sexy man voice and said, "Hey, baby. Come on over here, darlin', you know you want me."

And I did. I. SO. DID.

You know what else I did? I put a bag of potato chips in my cart. I bought it, and brought it home. I opened that bag of potato chips and I ate them. I ate them all.

Ugh. I felt so sick. Not only my poor stuffed tummy, but my heart was sick. I haven't eaten like that in a long time. But all of a sudden, a light bulb turned on. I'm a binger.

I must be a bit dense. I knew that I ate a lot. I knew that I eat more when I'm angry, sad or stressed - especially when I'm feeling a lot of stress. That's when I feel this "need" to just stuff and stuff. It's like I'm trying to bury the feeling so I can't feel it anymore. But, we all know how well that has worked. 

In the reading I've done, binge eating is the most common eating disorder. It occurs in 3% of adults in the United States. If differs from overeating in that the person:

  • Eats food more quickly during a binge than at other times
  • Eats until uncomfortably full
  • Eats even when not hungry
  • Eats alone, or hide evidence of binges
  • Feels disgusted and embarrassed about what they've eaten

 Although I got information from a variety of places, you can read about binge eating here.

I have not been diagnosed by a medical professional. This week, I have done a lot of reading and have decided that I fit the "profile" of a person that binges. Keeping track of eating and maintaining an active lifestyle can help control binges. It has for me, until this week. Psychotherapy is recommended to help with the emotional "issues" that go along with binge eating.

Overall, I need to find a new way to handle and work out stress. There was no weight loss this week, but I feel lucky that I didn't gain. I'm feeling very positive right now. I know that stress will just keep on coming, but I'm hoping I can write and walk my way through it. Maybe I need a punching bag on my patio. I'll bet that would help!

What do you do to combat and work through stress?

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