Sometimes it's hard to stay motivated. Sometimes what I want right now seems more important than what I want most. Sometimes, changing years of behavior and habits seems impossible. I feel like this is a never-ending story - me complaining about how I'm struggling and the scale be-bopping all around the same 5 pounds - over and over and over. I'm tired of it and anyone reading this dribble has to be, too.
So, I've been thinking a lot about motivation. Where it comes from and how to keep it. I thought my motivation was good. I had a doctor telling me that if I didn't lose weight, all the PRE-cancerous tissue I had in my uterus was going to eventually be actual cancer. If I didn't lose weight, I would get diabetes. If I didn't lose weight, my life would most likely be cut short. Now that's some good motivation, don't you think? I thought so too. But somehow, in the day-to-day, normal life-livin', run-o-d'mill stuff, it gets lost. Or maybe it's just that I do.
At the recommendation of a friend, I've started reading a blog called Runs for Cookies. Katie lost 125 pounds in 16 months and has maintained her loss for two years so far. She wrote a post about motivation and how it differs from determination. You can read that post by clicking here. What I got from it was that motivation is all too fleeting - temporary. Determination is the force that's going to get you there. I've got a bit of determination - a little glimmer. I haven't given up. Each day I try again and most days I do pretty well. I keep reading about others who have lost a lot of weight. I keep thinking they will inspire me. They usually do. But sometimes, it gets me down that they can do it, but I can't. Maybe, I need to take a break from reading other people's stories and just concentrate on mine.
I'm waiting for an appointment with a nutritionist at our local hospital's Diabetes and Nutrition Education. My doctor sent a referral last week. I got a message that they received the referral and that I should be getting a call in a week or so for an appointment. I'm frustrated with how much time it all takes, but excited to get started and, hopefully, get a plan made just for me. I'm also excited about the accountability that will come with it.
I'd better get to bed. Those boys of ours get up mighty early. It's hard on us night-owls - morning, that is. Over and out.